...and in the boat, there was a man...

A place to keep track of the daily doings of Me. Cos you love Me.

Saturday, April 23

on the menu...

[ mood = undefined music = (that song with the backwards video clip) - Jack Johnson ]

To the people at Funkies >> if it's listed on the menu, as being part of a dish, then it's PART OF THE DISH. The napoli sauce that's advertised as being an ingredient in the Italian Breakfast is supposed to be served with the dish, not as an afterthought... on the side.

Sheesh.

Monday, April 18

I'm fine, really I am - stop asking... no wait, I like the attention.

[ mood = treading water / grinning music = Linkin Park - Nobody's Listening ]

So it's really beginning to shit me that Caleb has packed it in - it means I have no internet access from home. And since I'm no longer connected to the Student Union (things got very yucky, with rumours of police investigations, and continual hounding - no death threats this time though), my only access to a working computer is either in a lab at Uni, or the library.

So, an update in summary point form (with a half hearted attempt at chronological order):

  • cleared illegally occupied lockers on campus, but didn't find anything too interesting (that bag of porn is *still* in the office, as no one wants to deal with it);
  • had the long talk with my boy, and hope to make a decent go of things (it's funny, even though it ain't been that long in person, A has made it into my inner circle and I honestly would put him in the 'EX' box if we were to stop now) (hmmm, that looks trite when I put it in words - grrr);
  • made a stoopid mistake by entering an office I wasn't supposed to, in an effort to be nice and make sure everything was okay;
    - was subsequently accused of potentially being a rapist;
  • have been continually dogged by rumours of just what the student representatives on the Union Council are saying and doing about me, without actually telling me anything;
  • my back aches from all the knives;
  • finally made the decision that some people whom I *thought* were friends are actually just in it to protect themselves;

  • I've cut all formal ties with the Student Union;
  • trying to work out how to maintain friendships, and evaluating whether the fight for the Student Union staff is worth my effort;
  • caught up with Susie (WA) and Aparna (ACT) at NUS National Executive meeting, which approved the Audited Financial Statements (must remember to dog the Gen Sec for a copy...);
  • got my new MP3 player from eBay (evil site), but can't update the tracks much as Caleb is very ill;
  • had a long think about why my computer is named Caleb, and can't for the life of me remember why;
  • wasn't going to go on last week's pub crawl, but got talked into it by a good mate (hi Nik);
  • got photos back from pub crawl, with some shockers (hi Marni);
  • visited Xander (my godson) and Cathie, and was racked with intense doting feelings of fatherhood for ages afterwards;
  • went to Shaft, where A got an O-ring;
  • he said he loves me;
  • I said 'ditto' without saying 'ditto';
  • thought about watching Ghost again;
  • got sidetracked by Jumping Jack Flash;
  • decided to cut my losses and bail;
  • felt guilty and crappy afterwards, for effectively throwing money away;
  • got uplifted by self-help books at Borders, entitled "Who Says You Can't" and the like;
  • drove out to Sunshine to visit my boy, and loan him a book ('Losing Matt Shepard' - a highly recommended read) for his interstate trip;
  • he said he loves me, again;
  • now killing six hours before Swinburne Council Meeting 3/2005, to be followed by a yummy two course dinner (as usual).

    PS : a note for TM - the site is http://www.mp3shits.com.
  • Sunday, April 3

    spank me!

    [ mood = confuzzled music = Paula Abdul - Foolish Heart ]

    I know, I know - I been slack lately with updatin the blog, but I've been going through a phase of thinking a lot of things just ain't worth the effort. Someone suggested attaching a stats tracker to this blog, but I've a feeling that would just be even more depressing (and I really don't need anything more to depress me - my mind does a great job on it's own).

    It's been a while since my last seizure, but I've been having some very minor, slight 'incidents' of late. Kinda scary since I'm living on my own at the moment, so if anything happens to me, no one's really gonna know until I'm missing from some meeting or something. Even my regular things like updating this blog or emailling mates or writing to Barthy go unnoticed when missed.

    So the song that keeps going through my player is Missing by Evanescence. (Full Lyrics from the Evanescence website, here).

    "Maybe some day you'll look up and,
    barely conscious, you'll say to no one,
    'Isn't something missing?
    Isn't someone missing me?'."

    Don't get me wrong - I ain't about to keel over and die (at least, I ain't planning on it!), but the solitude of isolated urban living tends to feed my depression more and more. I just don't know what to do to get myself out of this rut, so I just keep on keeping on.

    In other news, our research proposal for Professional Communication was due last Friday - got it in on time. The project is looking exciting, and I'm actually enthused about working on it. Multimedia Applications, on the other hand, is dead boring. And they overload us with too much information to digest. Ho hum.

    Monday will see the next SUT Council Meeting - we're approving the financial and non-financial Annual Report for 2004. To be honest, most of the information goes right over my head - something better needs to be done for the student members of Council, since it has to be assumed that they don't have financial training, etc. I happened to notice in the draft report papers that Amrish and Gautam were still listed as being Council Members for 2004. Grrrr - swiftly had that fixed!

    Oh yes, the other song currently playing, in between Linkin Park's Numb, Natalie Imbruglia's Torn, and Gabrielle's Out of Reach, is Paula Abdul's classic Foolish Heart. It speaks volumes.

    Anyway, the up coming period (between now and July) is going to be rocky both within Swinburne, and in the Education Sector more broadly. I'm not sure how I'm going to manage, since I'm relatively on my own now. No more student union buds to bounce things off.

    I miss Anthony; miss the feeling of being loved.
    In the catch-all response of late - meh!